ListerineSkulls

I figured I may as well lighten the mood a bit. My last few posts have been so depressed that I really feel the need to prove to my livejournal that I am a happy person sometimes.
The thing is, I don't have much to write about right now. I actually should be doing homework or researching for my club. But...I just lack motivation today. Not a good excuse, I know, but it's the truth...and the truth is what matters...that's why lying is so stupid. Because just saying something doesn't change what actually is. But I still lie. I just note the fact that it's pointless?
Anyway, we're trying to plan an event for spring semester. And I don't know how to do it. I'm just not competent enough to be president of a club. I don't know how things work. I really don't. So I'm floundering with that.
Finals are coming up. That's exciting. ish. It means the semester is almost over, at least. And then all I'll have is my job. Joy. I like school. I like being with people. But I don't really know anyone well enough to hang out with them over break...so I guess I'll have quality family time. Yay! That's not even entirely sarcastic. I do love my family bunches and bunches...they're the main reason I moved back here. So it's alright if they are my social life, I guess.

It's one of those times.
Maybe it's a bad day.
But something tells me it's not. Something tells me that I'll wake up tomorrow and feel the exact same way.
And that kind of sucks.
I don't know what to do about it. I wish I could feel better. Do something else. But what is there to do? I don't know. Reading has become depressing.
It just reminds me that I really don't fit in here.
I'll always just be some geek with her nose in a book.
And I thought I liked that.
But not so much today.
I don't know how I can feel better when I don't know what I want.
Because...I just don't.

Hello. I don't really use this, do I? I think it's because even though I want to be read sometimes, sometimes I don't. Like complaining about my job doesn't really need to be put into cyberspace. Because then what if my boss reads it? Even though I despise my job with a passion, I really don't want to lose it until I have something else lined up.
Today I might want to be read. But I might not.
It's just that a lot of things have been bugging me recently. I hope that these things are just inconsequential little pieces of life that are inevitable at the start of college. Because most of the people that I talk to feel the same way. So logically I know that there isn't anything wrong with me. But logic isn't always the root of my thoughts.
I just moved across the country a few months ago. To live with my grandparents and reestablish my residency in my beloved California. And my friends couldn't jump into my suitcase and come with me. So they are way over there and I'm way over here. Sometimes I'm just really lonely.
It doesn't help that before I left, I had a huge falling out with one of the click to which I belonged. So the physical distance did seem like a good idea.
But I feel like I'm not making friends here. I don't know what to do. I'm not good with all the social stuff. I used to be alright at it, but so many things have happened, that I don't know how to fake it anymore.
I look around and see everyone else on the planet with someone else. And wonder what is so wrong with me that I don't have anyone. Shouldn't I have someone? But I did just get here. It hasn't even been that long. But I miss having friends. I don't do well as a loner, despite my introverted tendencies. I need a small, close group of HP geeks around me. Or I feel like I'm just a freak. But who knows, maybe I am just a freak.
But I'm not to the point of wanting to change that. I like my freakness. I just miss having other people like it too.
Though I shouldn't care what other people think. But that doesn't mean that I don't want friends.
All I have right now are my books. And, knowing that, I don't feel like reading. Because today I want more that fiction, I want reality.
Can't I just fake it? Why won't I let myself fake it? I need to...but I can't. I swore off all that. After the fallout. I wouldn't lie to people for acceptance again. But oh how I miss acceptence.
Love,
Listerine.
PS--on the bright side, my classes are going well. I love higher education...

More. Yepp. I have no life today.

This has no relation to my fanfiction at all. It's just...me being ridiculous.

This horribly done sketch is one that is just how I see Lucius, Narcissa, and Travers when Regulus disappears off the face of the earth. It's sad.

This is a picture relating to my fanfic, Malfoy and Black. It's horribly done, but I figured I'd share it with the internet. Because I am bored. I hate being sick!!
Anyway, it's just a look at the library with ON THE RIGHT: Lily and James in the back, then Regulus and Cissa, then Peter and Lestrange. ON THE LEFT: Sirius and Remus, Snape.
So...yeah. How I amuse myself when I don't feel well.

So, I am officially employed. Three cheers for Listerine!!!
And now, I'm a lot more busy than I was a week ago. This may or may not be a good thing.
On the bright side, I will have income again!
On the sad side, who knows if I will still be able to update my fanfiction regularly.
Oh well. We all have to put aside the fandom for real life every once in awhile.

This weekend, I got my ears pierced. Despite my objections to the whole practice. I mean, who WANTS metal jammed through their flesh?! All for the sake of decoration?! Honestly. It's just a little masochistic. And though that word describes me pretty darn well, it's not something I aim for...it just generally happens.
So, why did I do it?
Peer pressure.
And earrings are pretty.
Stupid reasons, but we could over-analyze it and say that I'm just deathly afraid of missing out on life experiences.
Which might explain the Rocky Horror screening I went to. Though that was fun...not merely a I-Don't-Want-To-Miss-Out-On-Life moment. Okay, maybe it was. But there is nothing more fun than dressing up like a slut to go out and throw toast. So, yes, it's a life experience I wanted.
But I suppose my weekend was just a simple reiteration of the scary epiphany I had. That I don't want to get hit by a bus tomorrow and think "DAMN, I wish I would've..."
Even though I'm not sure earrings fit in to that. At all.
Yours,
Listerine.

I have issues with labels.

They're for soup, not people.

And I'm sure that soup doesn't even really need labels. Besides, think of how much better it would be without them. People would have to open the can and look at the contents instead of assuming that all chicken noodle is the same.
It could change the world. Really. Just take labels off soup cans. People will be annoyed at first, but it will pass. And then they won't stereotype as easily. All that prejeduce against Tomato Soup will be gone. And the tyrrany of alphabet noodles will be defeated.
All by taking off those stupid labels.
Today is Thursday, an underappreciated day of the week. But not by me, I love Thrusdays. They are pancake days. Chocolate chip pancakes even.
See? if you take the label off Thursday, you get pancakes. It's no longer pointless.

*looks around at this strange place* I've heard many things about it over the years. And I'm finally here. This is what boredom and the internet does to a person: makes them start an online journal. This is what society has come to.
Oh, well. It could be worse. I could be...um...in Ohio. Yes, there we are, the ultimate evil. Going back there.
*starts to unpack books and stuffed animals*
I suppose this place is alright. And I'm overly fond of typing to empty space. I think I may annoy people who have to read my drabble though. Oh well. I don't force people to read my nonsense. They do it of their own volition. Don't know why, but I don't complain. It's nice to have my words answered. Sometimes. Unless they tell me that I am, in fact, an asshole. Then it's just "I know. You don't have to tell me. But thanks for your help."
*wanders around aimlessly, mumbling to herself*

I suppose I might tell the livejournal universe a bit more about myself. Though, honestly, I always feel conceited. Me, me, me. It's my favorite conversation topic (excluding, of course, insane Harry Potter ramblings), but I do feel bad when I go on and on about myself. I have to confess that I'm rather boring.
I don't generally tell my name online. If you ask for it, I may make one up for you. My favorite not-my-name is Chrys, short for Chrysanthemum. After the mouse. In my favorite picture book. So if I told you that my name is Chrys, I was lying.
That brings us to a more substantial point: I am a liar, particularly online. Because when I try to lie in real life, I tend to burst into hysterical laughter. What can I say? I'm out of practice. But here's the scary part to my online lying: sometimes I'm ridiculously and stupidly honest. So, you can pick the truth out for yourself.
Let's dig deeper, shall we? Uproot more flaws. I despise the idea of religion. There. I wrote it. I was LDS--Mormon, however you want to spin it--for three years. Until I snapped. And now I'm slightly atheist. But mostly confused and cynical.
I may have eleven siblings. I may have four. I may have one. I don't really know. Sometimes I don't really care either. Which may seem mean, until you meet my family. Then it's understandable.
I write fanfiction and original. Here are the urls: fanfiction.net/~listerineskulls and fictionpress.com/~listerineskulls. If you are interested. If you aren't, oh well.
I'm not sure what to say right now. I'm having a bad...week. I didn't get this job that I thought I was going to. And thus, I am still unemployed. And then, on the same day, I find out that my brother may be moivng back to Ohio. Because he has to move out of his apartment in a month. It truly and utterly sucks. I just came back home three months ago and my brother is already moving.
Well, that's all for now. I'm going off to read smutty fanfiction. Because I can.
Love,
Listerine